This week. . .
I had three coffee dates in one day, all of which were amazing.
I got three hours of sleep two nights in a row and operated purely on coffee.
I Skyped with a brother in France :)
I freaked out about getting/not getting offered RA.
I was blessed to NOT have to take an exam because of random snow.
I owned a Cognitive Psychology exam.
I was depressed for no reason.
I argued with others and worked things out.
I was shocked by how not involved in the lives of others that I am.
God really used a significant brother to speak truth into my life.
I responded selfishly and immaturely.
I am more aware of my sin.
I was offered the RA position on Sutherland for next year.
My best friend and roommate was also offered the RA position.
Then I freaked out about getting offered RA (in a bad way).
I realized that sometimes getting what I want can be really, really sobering.
Friday, March 5, 2010
Thursday, March 4, 2010
αγάπη.
Love.
It's tattooed on my right wrist. But I have no idea what it means. And I'm realizing that more every day.
So, I ask myself, why the reminder of that which I don't understand? Exactly. I need to be reminded every day that I don't understand what I need the most. Read on.
I've been having a difficult time lately for multiple reasons. My coping strategy (when I'm in my right mind) is to journal. I process by writing. Well, I got to a point in my writing where I was able to admit to myself that I operate out of fear much of the time. Then I listed my fears. I stopped after I realized that I may run out of paper (I really like my current journal). I fear failure, I fear the disapproval of those I care about, I fear rejection, I fear being alone, I fear not knowing what's coming next.
Surprisingly, I was in my right mind, so I thought. What does Jesus have to say about these fears? Well, I read Matthew 6, but it wasn't until I had coffee today with a dear brother that I realized the most important concept Jesus has to offer concerning fear in this passage:
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)
What does this mean? It means that I need to seek God and have confidence in the fact that His cloak of righteousness has been attributed to me, even in my depravity. I have the ability to love through Jesus. I have the opportunity to be a lover and a recipient of love if I seek his righteousness. But I haven't been taking advantage of this opportunity. . .
All I can do is praise God for answer to prayers. He really provided for me today in the form of speaking truth through good friends. I was able to be honest and receive rebuke because of Jesus working through one individual. I was able to taste a little of God's love for me. It's sweet nectar. How could I go after anything else? Why would I go after anything else?
Jesus, please give me the ability to see you and you only. Enable me to seek your righteousness and operate out of love, not fear of the created or of man. Amen.
It's tattooed on my right wrist. But I have no idea what it means. And I'm realizing that more every day.
So, I ask myself, why the reminder of that which I don't understand? Exactly. I need to be reminded every day that I don't understand what I need the most. Read on.
I've been having a difficult time lately for multiple reasons. My coping strategy (when I'm in my right mind) is to journal. I process by writing. Well, I got to a point in my writing where I was able to admit to myself that I operate out of fear much of the time. Then I listed my fears. I stopped after I realized that I may run out of paper (I really like my current journal). I fear failure, I fear the disapproval of those I care about, I fear rejection, I fear being alone, I fear not knowing what's coming next.
Surprisingly, I was in my right mind, so I thought. What does Jesus have to say about these fears? Well, I read Matthew 6, but it wasn't until I had coffee today with a dear brother that I realized the most important concept Jesus has to offer concerning fear in this passage:
"But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well." (Matthew 6:33)
What does this mean? It means that I need to seek God and have confidence in the fact that His cloak of righteousness has been attributed to me, even in my depravity. I have the ability to love through Jesus. I have the opportunity to be a lover and a recipient of love if I seek his righteousness. But I haven't been taking advantage of this opportunity. . .
All I can do is praise God for answer to prayers. He really provided for me today in the form of speaking truth through good friends. I was able to be honest and receive rebuke because of Jesus working through one individual. I was able to taste a little of God's love for me. It's sweet nectar. How could I go after anything else? Why would I go after anything else?
Jesus, please give me the ability to see you and you only. Enable me to seek your righteousness and operate out of love, not fear of the created or of man. Amen.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Answers.
In your struggle against sin, you have not yet resisted to the point of shedding your blood. And you have forgotten that word of encouragement that addresses you as sons:
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12.4-11
"My son, do not make light of the Lord's discipline,
and do not lose heart when he rebukes you,
6because the Lord disciplines those he loves,
and he punishes everyone he accepts as a son."
Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as sons. For what son is not disciplined by his father? If you are not disciplined (and everyone undergoes discipline), then you are illegitimate children and not true sons. Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of our spirits and live! Our fathers disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, that we may share in his holiness. No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.
Hebrews 12.4-11
Monday, March 1, 2010
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