The Malleability of Fashion.

Things that were cool, but aren’t cool anymore.
- Baggy jeans
- Velour jumpsuits
- Fohawks -->
(See excessive hair gel for a similar explanation)
- Colored contact lenses -->
I will admit, when I was going through one of my 202130938 identity crises, I fell into this one. I was thinking, “why do all my white friends have cool colored eyes!?” And then I probably listened to a Sum41 song and wrote an angry poem. All that to say, just be satisfied with your eye color.
- Acid washed jeans

Things that were cool, became not cool, and are now cool again.
- Jorts
Skinny jeans
- Film cameras
- Polaroid cameras
- Ray-bans
- Your grandmother’s glasses
-Getting preggo at age 12 -->
From my understanding, getting married and then having children at an extremely young age was the norm (my grandmother had my uncle at age 14 – she was married). Then came the women’s rights movement and the advocacy of “the pill” and other forms of birth control. But now, the general mindset is, “Morals? Condoms? What are you talking about? I’m 12 and I am more than ready to have my own tv sho… baby.” Idiots. Hopefully we can move this one into the “not cool” category soon.
- Being black -->
I’ll keep this one short: Africa was chill, then slavery wasn’t, and now that it’s cool to be tan, “have black friends,” adopt little black babies (just wait until Brangelina has to fix that girl’s nappy head of hair), and support Obama… boom. Black people, we have arrived. Soak it in, because it’s back to the soul food kitchen for you as soon as soon as Obama does something to piss everyone off.
- 90s Fashion
- Being Jewish

Things that were never cool, and thank God, will never be cool.
- Socks with sandals
- Tramp stamps (or the male counterpart, champ stamps)
- Fanny packs
- ED HARDY -->
If I wanted to wear to have skulls, roses, and thorns all intertwined with glitter and sequins on my t-shirt, I would drive to Myrtle Beach and buy a trashy “Biker Week” commemorative t-shirt. I don’t understand how/why this crap ever became popular. I mean, do you really want to wear a brand supported by Jon Gosselin? He’s got 8 kids and baby-mama addicted to fame and botox. AWESOME ROLE MODEL.

Things that most of us thought were cool, but understand to never be cool. Ever.
-Excessive hair gel -->
I recently witnessed a young, gangly teenage boy with gelled spikes all over his head. Needless to say, I would love to be there 10 years down the road when he sees pictures of his poor, teenage angst ridden decision. Growing up is tragically beautiful.
- Hot Topic
- Milli Vanilli

I know I can’t speak for everyone, but I was in the airport earlier today and I saw someone with jorts and I decided to write about it. And it all developed into this blog post.

Ciao for now.